Episode 4- The Gift Of Our Flaws

Hey Guys,

It’s episode 4 and this week I talk about the gift of our flaws. Yes you heard it right. Our flaws are a gift. It’s weird right? You must be scratching your head and wondering how is this possible. What’s wrong with you Lakshmi, but trust me they really are.

Click play to listen to this week’s podcast

 

Transcript

In this weeks podcast we talk about our flaws and how important they actually are . So let’s head over.

I know most of us run from our flaws. We prefer hiding them rather than showing them off to the world. We are scared of our flaws. The most common thought’s being, “People will think I’m weird, no one will want to be friends with me,” and the list goes on.

I’m no different. I don’t like accepting my flaws. I try covering it up as much as I can. Embarrassed by it at times.

Last week I went and saw a movie, “A wrinkle In Time.” A really nice movie , that touched on the topic of accepting our flaws. The more you try to run away from them, the more you try to cover it up, the more you’re pushing in the real you. In the movie the lead actress feels she doesn’t fit in at school, people call her weird and occasionally so she gets bullied. But through the course of them movie something changes in her. Reese Witherspoon (I love her) is one of the astral travelers and her gift to Meg was the “Gift of her flaws.” So when I first heard that, I thought, “seriously our flaws can be a gift?” And I bet Meg in the movie at that time thought the same thing.

In a lot of situations it is what we perceive as our flaws, actually save us at the end of the day. In the movie, Meg’s greatest flaw was, she didn’t trust anything easily, or anyone easily. She would question every single thing. Deep inside this caused her to feel like an outcast, outsider. The more she felt it, the more she emitted that energy out to the world.

The world picks up on your energy.

People pick up on your vibes. When we lie people know, when we are truthful people know, People can surely sense the kind of person you are – more of this in another podcast.

So What are my flaws:

• So Like meg I don’t take people at face value
• I ask a lot of questions
• I take a hell load of time to open up to people
• Procrastination

I use to think these were bad things, I tried to bury them. I tried to become someone I wasn’t. Let’s get honest. I am an introvert – and I can’t get chatty with everyone I meet, am very selective on who I am open up to. However, lately I realized this is a gift. Our flaws are our gifts, please remember that. If you sit down and really think about it, our flaws work perfectly with the situations and circumstances that come into our life. They save us from a lot of pain in the long run.

I don’t trust easily – but I do believe in vibes. The vibes that each on of us emit out. A lot of times people say something, but actually feel something else altogether. I pick up on those unsaid things – again this would confuse me earlier. I would think something’s wrong with me. A few months back, I realized that this gift yet again saved me from a lot of pain. So be aware and attuned to what people say.

I am the queen of procrastination. There are times when I literally need to push myself to get something done. I just think procrastination has such a bad rep. Well in some ways it really doesn’t help you, but sometimes it’s just what you need. Procrastination is your body’s way of asking you to slow down and re-evaluate.

So I procrastinated to study, looking at my books I was just getting pissed off and was trying my best to postpone it. The main reason being, I was like anyways even if I do study, I doubt I’m going to retain anything. I’m going to bum the exams anyways.

I kept look at the books and wondered rather than giving up, what different can I do? How can I make this more understandable and interesting? I took this time to re-evaluate and jumped right back in with a game plan this time around – Make things more concise and interactive. And this is actually helping me now.

So why not take the opportunity to ask yourself , “Why are you procrastinating right now?” You usually have the answer. Then work on coming up with a new game plan.

When it comes to body image, what we see as our flaw is actually what makes us unique. Imagine everyone having the exact same body shape. How would that work out?

I was born with a very tiny cleft lip. As a kid, that use to bother me and I noticed the first thing people would ask me was, what happened, omg did you fall and hurt yourself, no no I can see a bump on your lips and that would annoy me even more. I was scared to talk to people because I felt I was being judged. But the minute I decided to accept that yes it is a part of me and there is actually nothing I can do to change it, things changed. People wouldn’t really ask me, now it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence and even when they do, I don’t care anymore. Why? Because I have, accepted that part of me. The minute you accept your flaws, you gain confidence.

What we deem as flaws is actually a gift, what we deem us unpleasant is the universe actually pushing you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes things may not work out the way you wanted it to, but they always work out the way that is best for you.

These flaws are there to push us out of our safety bubble and at the same time to protect us. So rather than belittling them, why not give them credit for where you are in life.

Embrace who you are, everything else falls into place.

I hope you guys enjoyed this week’s podcast. If you have any questions leave them in the comments section below.

I’ll catch you guys next week. Bye.

Lots of love ❤

Lakshmi

#TheCurvyGirl Podcast – Episode 1 – Perfectionism

 

OMG! It’s here, the very first episode. I am so proud of myself today ! I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to be able to bring this podcast to you. To be able to share my thoughts with you.

I hope you guys enjoy this podcast as much as I had fun making it. Keep listening till the end to get a sneak peak into next weeks podcast where I interview a very dear Aunt of mine.

Transcript: 

Hey guys, It’s our very first episode and I’m so excited. I kind of have butterflies in my stomach at the moment.

In today’s episode I talk about our greatest obstacle or one of our greatest obstacle – Perfectionism. And while trying to over come this, you learn some of your greatest lessons. Now do we ever completely come out of this tendency? I don’t know.

So what is Perfectionism?

Well according to the online dictionary Perfectionism is the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection – a standard that is faultless.

It’s also closely tied to anxiety and depression.

Perfectionism – what a prick.  I’ve been suffering from it for I don’t know how many years and it shows up easily in all areas of my life.

When we look at media outlets and the images portrayed there or when we watch a movie and expect our life to be just like that – please remember most of those images in magazines/online outlets are airbrushed images – I can guarantee you even models don’t look like that in real life.  A lot of movies are purely meant for entertainment and are in no way a standard that needs to be used to measure how successful or great we are.

Someone’s physical appearance should never be used to judge the personality or the life of an individual.

I went to watch the movie I feel pretty last night. The movie touches on so many relevant issues that we as men and women face on a day-to-day basis. Trust me, it’s a must watch. One of them being that we always feel the need to “look” perfect in order to be accepted by someone, or to be able to achieve or do a certain task.  Trust me it’s a must watch.

What is perfect in this context you ask – Well having that perfect body, maybe a size 2 or 4, being able to fit into those dresses.

Now how far is this from the truth? How many of us actually feel like that when we look at someone ? “Oh they’re beautiful, I just wish I could be like her, maybe then a lot more things would work out for me.” I’ve felt it! Guilty as charged. I’ve looked at someone and just thought to myself, I’m sure she has it easy.

In the past few months I’ve realized that being perfect doesn’t mean you get everything easy – honestly NO ONE IS PERFECT. We all have our quirks and you know what that’s what makes you so LOVABLE.

Your individuality, your crazy imperfections are what people love about you.  So why do we constantly try to dumb it down. Just imagine a world where everyone is perfect, where none of us make mistakes, we all have the perfect body, perfect make up, everything perfect to the T. How boring would that be? There would be no flavor, there would be nothing new to discover. We would simply be clones, and living life like robots.

You want to know what makes you beautiful:

Your craziness – Your ability to make someone laugh – that hug that only you can give – those words of encouragement – Your Presence that makes a whole world of a difference in someone’s life. That’s what makes you beautiful – Not perfectionism

Dressing a certain way, wearing a certain dress, necessarily doesn’t make you beautiful. It enhances your beauty- it enhances your personality  – but is never a barometer to judge how beautiful you are.

I wish I could go back 10 years and say this to my younger self – I wish I could tell her not to listen to those crazy people who say otherwise – To stop looking at the crap that’s being fed to us on T.V. Turn the damn thing off. To know just how wonderful, loved and accepted she is – that without her things wouldn’t be as wonderful as they are.

Let me be frank, as I was planning this podcast, I wasn’t too sure what to talk about , I felt I wasn’t ready (yup those perfectionist tendencies) , like I didn’t have all the materials I needed. But as a I put pen to paper I realized I was ready, everything I needed was there within me.

That’s the thing guys, when trying to get something out into this world always and always focus on the connection- always be real- share your heart and trust me people will connect more easily with you, people will appreciate you more.

When I look at someone who portrays that they have it all together it makes me nervous as hell. It seems unattainable to me, because it really is.  Perfectionism is unattainable.

Please show you’re imperfections, make those mistakes, it’s ok- don’t hide from it and share it with people. I think when we share, we’ll all feel a little less alone.

Don’t you agree?

So here’s an exercise I want us all to do this week:

On a piece of paper write down 5 things you hate about yourself.

Done?

Now either burn it or flush down the toilet

Take another piece of paper and write down 5 things you love about yourself, please don’t limit yourself to just the physical appearance. I want you to write down things you love about your personality- what makes you unique, your quirks– what are those qualities that makes you the lovable person you are. Here’s an example: People feel heard when they talk to me.

Done?

Now take this piece of paper, stand in front of a mirror and read it out loud. Read it like 4-5 times.  Stick it on the mirror and repeat it every single day, till you actually start believing this. And see how your life changes.  I believe in the power of writing things down and reading it, it’s definitely worked out in my life.

People love you for your quirkiness, for all that you bring into the relationship. Don’t try dumbing it down, don’t push that side of you into hiding and try to be perfect. If someone expects you do be perfect, trust me you don’t need them in your life.

We all make mistakes, and it’s these mistakes that make us who we are – and recently I’ve realized my mistakes give me an opportunity to get creative and try something new.

So every time you tend to beat yourself up for not letting things happen the way you planned it in your head, just pause. Pick up that phone and call a friend. Share how you’re feeling with them- friends do make things feel better.

And this is what I call a Power Circle

Why a power circle? Well it’s among these groups of friends that you gain your power back. Our power / energy tends to get sucked away from us when we focus too much on being perfect.

The power circle consists of those people who pick you up when you tend to beat yourself down, who knock some sense into you when you really need it.

Oh yes, here’s another thing, make sure the friends you have aren’t those who criticize you constantly. Constructive criticism is good, but never something that constantly brings you down. Keep those in your life, who are supportive, who you can sit down with and just be yourself.

I, for one am lucky to be surrounded by people who hear me out, who support me, who tend to knock sense into me when I really need it and when those perfectionist tendency comes to surface, know just how to remind me that its ok to be human.

You never have to have it all together to create something. You never need to be an “industry perfect size” to feel beautiful, the size you are, is perfect and just what your body needs. Respect that and love that. Move your body to feel energized, to help stimulate your mind, body and soul.  Most importantly learn to connect to yourself – to tune out the world and tune inwards.

The world needs you, so stop letting perfection get in the way of the greatness that’s meant to be yours.

In comments below let me know how perfection shows up in your life. Also share some of your quirky habits. What makes you lovable? It’s good to brag sometimes 😉

I hope you guys enjoyed this weeks podcast. Here’s a tiny sneak peak into next weeks podcast. Until then, have a fun filled week ahead, Bye.