For the past 13 years I’ve been extremely insecure of how I look. I never felt like I was good enough. After all these years I’m slowly reaching that … Continue reading #TheCurvyGirl
It’s been ages since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Sharing my work online, seems to be something that has taken a backseat. Truth be told, I felt like a fraud sharing my work online, was I truly living the words I was sharing? And from time to time I would feel if writing anything on this blog was even worth it, I mean who is really reading it ?
I slowly let myself go, and fell off the wagon. Dropped my routine and began to slack. A few months later, I got a job and that kept me really busy, but deep down I still felt something was missing.
So I decided it was high time I got back on the wagon and began working on myself. I needed to disconnect from the drama that my idle mind was creating and connect to the self that kept my mind, body and soul happy and healthy. Obviously this doesn’t mean I will give up on the world and be in my little Miss Positive bubble, no ways. I am human and oscillating between emotions is only normal (more on this in another blog).
Now what makes me happy, need not be the same thing that makes you or someone else happy? As much as I love social media and it’s ability to help us connect. One of the biggest vices is, it throws us into a comparison trap. “Oh look at her, working out and eating healthy, let me try that too, or hmmm she is draws & paints so well why can’t I be like that? oh look at the number of books she’s reading why can’t I do that? Her instagram is so much more cooler than mine.” These are a few thoughts that I’ve had. It’s really good when we want to work on ourselves, but doing it because someone else is and it looks cool, isn’t the best reason to do it.
Whatever you do, do so because you want to, not because a 1000 people are doing it.
So what makes me happy?
WRITING. Even though I haven’t really written anything here on the blog for a very very long time, still writing is one act that brings peace to me, which honestly I’ve put on the back burner for the past few months. What I have begun to notice is, even 20 minutes a day, makes such a difference to me. I write because its one of the the few things that helps me connect to myself and helps reduce my anxiety. I write because it brings me immense joy and peace. I write because it is my form of meditation.
What makes you happy? What is that one thing you can do for yourself today?
Where do I begin?
I had a major book hangover for about 2 days. I couldn’t get the characters, the story out of my head. While reading the book I was able to picture each and every scene and place. The characters had so much depth to them, each different from the other. Lee brought the characters to life, they seemed real and relatable. I felt so heavily invested while reading this book.
Pachinko is a family saga. The book takes place over four generations of Koreans. It begins with Hoonie, a cleft palate and cripple and begins in the year 1910. The story then moves on to his daughter Sunja, a beautiful, well-mannered girl. Sunja is the main protagonist of the book. Her getting pregnant at the hand of a Yakuza by the name Koh Hansu propels and the impact it has on her life. The rest of the book has her tied in as a central element and all the characters and lives revolving around her. How each life is intertwined with Sunja and the actions she takes and doesn’t take. There is so much love and affection you feel while you read the book. The characters are law-abiding and respectful Koreans.
The book also highlights the hatred the Koreans had to face at the hands of the Japanese. Be it in their own country or in Japan, the Koreans were treated as 2nd class citizens and had to fight their way for living everyday. Pachinko was another main feature in the book ( of course the name of the book gives it away). Pachinko parlor was a saving grace in this family’s life.
When I purchased the book back in September last year, I got really scared just looking at the size of the book. I had heard rave reviews and knew I needed the book, however I was very doubtful if I would complete the book or not.
I was so wrong!
The book though 531pages+ in size is an easy read. In fact I forced myself to read the book slowly, I managed to stretch to a week.
I didn’t know much about the Korea-Japan war until I read Pachinko. The conditions the Koreans lived in and the back to back lashes they had to face was so heartbreaking to read. Even years after the events, the fourth generation Koreans who live in Japan are still considered immigrants. On the 15th birthday they must go and get a certificate that decides their fate for the next three years. If rejected, they are immediately deported. Imagine having to leave the country you grew up in on your birthday. I can only imagine what they must have gone through.
There are very few books out there that make you wish the book never ends, this was one such book for me. When someone asks for a book suggestion, Pachinko is definitely on the list.
Do give this book a read, you won’t regret it.
Lots of love,
The Girl In The Wild World is back and this time with something that Is very close to my heart. Some changes that I am making personally.
I haven’t been feeling so great. This constant feeling that I’m not good enough and haven’t achieved much has been lingering around. I shared this feeling with my husband, I was scared he might tell me not to over-think this or just brush It off, but that guy has been nothing but supportive, reminding me when I forget, that I am good enough. I also told my best friend how I was feeling (thank god for best friends <3) Talking to her opened my eyes to my own engrained expectations and preconceived notions about how my life should be.
Why do we feel like this? We set these high standards for ourselves and give a timeline by when we must achieve it. While having a goal is great, not being able to achieve that target isn’t necessarily bad. It doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough. And just because someone your age has achieved it, doesn’t make you any less or a failure. We have our own timeline for things to workout and our life trajectory is unique to us. We can’t expect to be running parallel to someone else.
Social media that was created to bring us closer(which it has in many ways), in reality has made us feel more alone. This constant comparison, the constant need to post and show the world, “Look what I’m doing, or look how perfect my life is.” Honestly how healthy is it?
We see too many photos, with perfect poses, heavy filters and too few pictures where You are just being YOU. While sharing every little detail of your day isn’t healthy either, sharing those bits of your life where you feel that maybe, just maybe if I share this it might help someone, is amazing.
I do want to make a difference, and going forward I’ve decided to share content that I know is true to who I am. I’ve hid the real me for too long. The girl who loves to share quotes, the girl who loves to talk about books,TED talk videos, cafes she comes across; but rather opted to share these posed and perfect shots and talk about things that weren’t authentic to my nature.
Let’s be more mindful of the kind of content we share and follow. Let your mental health me of utmost priority. And trust me we are all where we need to be.
Here are a few accounts that I absolutely LOVE, are authentic and worth the follow:
Heather Waxman– For those who are into self help and healing or looking to move through some deep seated emotions Heather is your girl, she has is raw, beautiful and authentic AF. She is one of my favorites and Someone who I turn to from time to time in search for guidance.
Mindfulness30: Varshaa is a professional Tarot Reader, numerologist and Reiki practitioner. Want a reading done or just read your weekly sun sign prediction, then Varshaa from Mindfulness is your girl. She posts weekly readings and everyday posts content that is beneficial and life affirming. Contact her if you want a personal reading done. She is one of my dearest friends and is the most humble person I know.
Wander_leen (Harleen Singh): Love dogs? Or just want to see a smiley face in the morning, then please give her a follow. Harleen is one of the few instagramers who I think is so true to her nature. Who shares on insta only things that speak to her and who talks reality. I absolutely love her and look forward everyday to pictures of her doggies, especially Glen.
Rachana Iyer (Rayiyer): My sister shares some amazing content on her insta. From Mumbai? and love to run but in search of a crew to run with, then she is the one to get in touch with. She is part of the Bombay Running Crew. How running benefits you not just physically, but mentally too. She also talks about mental illness, the struggles and workshops that are coming up in and around India. She’s the BOMB 😉
Be YOU and know that you are enough. Be more loving towards yourself and cut yourself some slack.
Diets & Workouts; the two scary words. These days it feels like EVERYONE is constantly stuck in the cycle of dieting and working out, then completely binging on the foods the craved for while on the diet and then getting onto another diet.
Sticking to a diet just seems so tough. If you are also stuck in this vicious cycle, then this weeks podcast is for you.
Click play to listen:
Hey guys in this weeks podcast I’ll be talking about diets, the craziness and why most of us fail sticking to one.
Are you one those people who spend boatloads of money on diets, gym membership but find it tough to follow through? Do you find yourself stuck in the cycle on of the latest diet in town and the best workout for burning said amount of calories? I know how you feel because I’ve been there.
All these diets give you a guarantee that if you follow word to word you will lose your target weight. You jump right in and half way through just feel like giving up.
Listen up, we’re wired differently, what works for your sister isn’t going to work for you. What works for you, might not work for your friend. Our body reacts in different ways and we need to learn to listen to what our body requires.
So a few months back I went on the Keto diet, something I did after I saw the results on my sister. She completely transformed and looked like a whole new person. My first month went very well, and I was powering through. Yes, I lot about 5kgs the and I was over the moon. However, I began to notice my body wasn’t too happy with how things were going.
I would crave for a small bowl of rice, to be able to function. Initially I thought maybe I felt like this because I’ve always preferred rice over roti. But slowly it began to take a toll on my mental health. I was finding it difficult to focus and power through the day.
After having a talk with my parents, I decided maybe keto wasn’t the best way for me. I felt really bad and I felt like a failure.
While talking to my best friend the other, I realized that as a child I would eat everything my mom would cook. And I never had any issues with my weight. Then how is it, that now as an adult my weight is such a big problem?
As a child we usually eat at home. Mom’s home cooked meals. Home cooked meals sure are the healthiest, be It the so-called “rice that’s filled with carbs which is bad for us” or dal with a dollop of ghee.
Eating out was a rare occasion. We limited our intake of processed food. However, boarding school and college threw this practice out the door.
With different body types, our struggles are different too. Thyroid, PCOS/PCOD, and various other hormonal imbalances make it difficult to lose weight. Steroids, antibiotics and surgeries also cause your body to go into a complete whack – thus making it difficult to lose weight. So please, before you get angry on yourself for not losing weight easily, take all of this into account.
Another very important thing is choosing the right dietician/nutritionist. It is so vital that you have a good dietician, nutritionist in this journey. Make sure they have your best interest in mind; not you being just another number in their list of clients. They are one of your most important team player. Imagine having a nutritionist who doesn’t really hear you out, your concerns, problems and then continuous to blame you when things don’t seem right? How discouraging is that.
Being someone whose tried various diets and I never truly enjoyed it. I always felt like I was depriving my body. And it’s never good to come from a place of deprivation. Deprivation pushes your body to retaliate (well that’s exactly how I felt).
It wasn’t until I came across Rujuta Diwekar, did things fall into place. Initially, when I came across her I felt she was just some other film star’s dietician. Her things will never be accessible. I was wrong about that. I’ve started reading her books and things are finally falling into place. I finally have a perspective on so many questions in my mind. All those things I would do as a child, is exactly what she recommends.
Your environment, the place your born, the family you are born into, your genes; besides our hormones have such a huge impact on your weight loss journey.
What does this mean?
As someone hailing from south India rice is something I can’t live without. One meal of mine has to be rice. As a kid I would eat rice for lunch and not once did I put on weight.
What’s my story?
At the age of 13, a doctor had given me steroids for an injury of mine, which totally messed with my hormones causing me to gain weight. I however, began to blame rice for this. Reading articles about how bad rice is, only reinforced that quitting rice is the best thing. This wasn’t helping me. I continued to put on weight and internally my body was screaming and crying for rice. As soon as I started having rice for one meal my weight in control, even though losing weight was difficult.
Portion control; Please remember that my portion size and your portion size can be completely different. Again, here too listen to your body. Your body knows just how much it needs. When I go out with my family, I’m told so many times that we’re just not going to take you into account. You anyways eat so little. But that’s the thing. My body can only take in small portions at a time. Eating more than my portion size causes severe acidity. So respect your body. Listen to it.
Even if you have to have smaller portions every few hours; do it. You know what’s best for you.
From all the diets and going to the gym & yoga if there is one thing I’ve learned is: Listen to your body. It speaks to you. Going against it only causes more frustration. Just because someone you know is following one of the “hottest” diets, doesn’t mean you need to follow that too. Find out everything about the diet, see if it matches your lifestyle and then sign up for the diet.
I personally prefer following what Rujuta Diwekar has to say, because it fits perfectly for my lifestyle & the food she suggests is what I’ve had as a kid.
The same thing goes with working out too. Find a workout that fits you. For someone it could be yoga, for someone else dancing. Your workouts shouldn’t be another task. Enjoy it. I love getting on the treadmill and doing a speed run for 3minutes, the energy it gives me. Besides that, doing a few workouts at the gym & yoga are my go to thing. What do you enjoy doing ? Go do it!
Basically, be it diets or workouts, enjoy them – listen to your body. Our 9-5jobs & the traffic anyways get the best of us, let this not be another one of those things.
Have you been on a diet? Has something really worked for you? What is your favorite work out. Let me know, leave them in the comment section below.
Love your body, don’t deprive it – after all you have only one of it.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s podcast. I’ll catch you guys next week. Bye.
I took a week off from sharing my podcast and I honestly needed it. It’s the best thing I could have done. I couldn’t bring myself to write, I felt completely exhausted.
This week I’m talking about the importance of disconnecting in order to be more present. It’s so important for us to actually disconnect from the outside world and just be.
Disconnect to reconnect.
Click play to listen:
Hey guys, and I’m back with the next episode. This week I actually want to talk about taking time out. The importance of taking a step back, and just being.
In today’s day and age it’s become increasingly difficult for us to press the pause button and just be, to relax and take a time out. With responsibilities only increasing and the great need to constantly prove ourselves. It’s become extremely difficult to disconnect. This begins to take a toll on us mentally, physically, and emotionally.
As you may have noticed last week, I didn’t do a podcast. I decided to take a step back and relax. I sat staring at the computer screen for the longest time, unable to put words together that sounded authentic and the need of the hour. And honestly more than that I think I was mentally exhausted. After much thinking I decided that it’s ok not to have a podcast out, I’ll be of better service if I do take one week off and just rejuvenate.
Even though I have stopped working, I am currently busy studying for my CMA, besides that slowly starting the preparations for my wedding. There was just so much going on in my mind, that I didn’t realize that I was exhausting myself. All the plans and all the tasks I needed to complete before my wedding. I had to really step back and re-evaluate what I was doing. Anxiety was getting the best of me. It sure was time to really sit down and coach myself.
As humans we tend to obsess and worry about the future, what’s going to happen next, and before we finish one task our mind is already busy planning how to execute the next and the next and the next. Do you realize how exhausting this can be for your body? If mental workout could burn calories, I would be a size zero for sure.
I was obsessing and working myself up for everything I need to do once I get to India. Also equally excited to meet my family I was totally losing sight of what was important right at the moment. Right at the moment my focus should have simply been on reading that chapter, but no – I wandered too much into the future.
I finally created a list of all the things I had to do when In India and just kept it aside. I will pick this up when I am actually there and have to do this work. For now just relax Lakshmi. I read the chapter that I had to and decided to actually take time out to do something that I enjoy – reading a book. Reading a book has always been relaxing for me. It’s my escape when I need a time out.
It felt so good disconnecting for sometime and just being present in the moment. Not worrying about what needs to be done 2-3 weeks from now, was so liberating. We are only humans and actually need the time to re-calibrate. I urge you to take at least an hour just for yourself. Keep away all those gadgets and do what you enjoy the most.
There is a saying, “You can only fill another’s cup, when your own cup is full. Which goes to say, only when we have the energy within us can we help someone else. Helping people we love is great, but make sure you are taking care of yourself in this process too. Mothers are the best example of going above and beyond and placing everyone’s needs above her own. Mother’s you deserve a break. Please please please, take time out for yourself .
And during this time out, I actually began thinking of how much of an impact social media has actually had on us constantly being on the go. Besides having a full time jobs, social media takes up so much of our time. And why I think we need to disconnect often?
In this present day with technology growing faster than a human baby, I think it’s all the more important to disconnect and keep our gadgets aside for a few hours. With facebook, instagram, snapchat and so many other social media applications it has become increasingly difficult to actually be present and enjoy the present moment. We are constantly scrolling through and looking at pictures, videos and things other people are doing. We begin to judge ourselves and feel we aren’t doing enough to get there. This in turn spirals us into getting anxious and sometimes is a cause of depression.
No one has it together. A lot of photos are staged and show only 10% of what is actually going on. I use to be someone who wanted to click every little moment, share it on instagram with some really nice quote and make my life seem all perfect. Until one day I realized how much of my life is like this? 5%? 10% – max . Taking photos is wonderful, I don’t deny that, I still enjoy clicking pictures, but really not everything needs to be shared.
A lot of you may disagree with me, and that’s completely fine. To each their own.
But please stop comparing your life with someone else. None of us know the struggles each one of us go through, and honestly do you really think everyone’s life is so perfect? I doubt.
I deleted the social media apps from my phone too and I can’t begin to tell you how much more productive I was. I hit all my targets for the day and still had enough time to relax. Focusing on just myself and the need of the hour, rather than feeding into the “perfect” lives of everyone else.
So may I ask you take up this challenge too? Maybe just for a day and see how you feel by the end of the day. Notice how much more you are able to achieve my disconnecting. Notice how present you are. And most of all notice how you start to feel mentally, emotionally and physically.
Sometimes we have to disconnect to reconnect.
In the comments section below, let me know what you think. Will you be taking up this challenge? What is your take on social media and how it’s taking over the world one application at a time.
I’ll catch you guys next week. Bye.
Lots of love ❤
Have you ever felt like you aren’t good enough ? You feel the constant need to show the world who you really are, however all you feel is like a failure – Then this week’s podcast is for.
We’re all intelligent in our own way. Howard Gardner is a well known psychologist who is best known for his theory of Multiple forms of intelligence. Sir Ken Robinson is an advisor in education and talks about how to make education more interesting and inclusive for everyone.
Their work give an in-depth take on why so many people feel like failure – no one is dumb, we’re all intelligent in our own way. Sadly, not everyone is educated and taught to understand their form of intelligence & to use this to the best of their abilities to achiever success in life.
If you’re interested in learning more about multiple intelligence & the change that is required in the education system, then scroll down after listening to the podcast and watch the two videos that are attached.
You’re intelligent in your own way. Just because you don’t fall into the standard definition of success & intelligence, doesn’t mean you aren’t. No two people are the same.
Click play to listen to this weeks podcast:
Hey guys and welcome back. Its Episode 5 and this week we talk about the pressure to have an identity of our own, the role of the education system, parents, society and the importance of having strong- genuine friendships. Yes it’s a heavy topic.
So lets head on over.
Hi guys the CBSE board exam results are out and we’ve heard students getting 499/500 , wow I am amazed and happy for them.
However, today’s topic isn’t about how to score that much. Rather the reason behind why students across the world are under constant pressure. While I believe that some amount of stressing is good for us, it shapes us, I also believe the pressure that the society puts on students these days is crazy and unrealistic.
Children are expected to score a certain grade, to be considered intelligent, I disagree. Your marks don’t define the kind of person you are. This alone cannot be a barometer on the basis of which we judge someone’s intelligence. In fact according to years of research there are multiple forms of intelligence. To name them:
- Verbal Linguistic
- Logical Mathematical
- Visual Spatial
- Musical Rhythmic
- Body Kinesthetic
Look at the photo for a brief understanding of each one it.
Image via: St.Catherine Family Faith Foundation
Each one of us is a combination of the above. In some of us the logical mathematical is high, while in others musical rhythmic. Once we understand what are strongest intelligence is, we can use it to achieve so much more in life.
But, are we taught this in school? If not, why aren’t we?
If society wants to see successful humans, then maybe we need to take a step back and review our methods of teaching. And again marks aren’t everything.
We stress so much on kids having a plan by the time they are in Grade 12. We drill it into their heads that they need to know exactly what to do and in many cases decide what’s best for them, without asking them what they want to do.
Don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree – sadly that is exactly what happens. Since we think we know what’s best for them, we fail to let them discover their own talents.
And this has many psychological repercussions. One mistake and we deem ourselves a failure; we think we won’t amount to anything. And social media definitely feeds into this – Adding fuel to fire. It feeds into the fact that everyone except me has their life together and are successful. I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. No one has their life together; most of us don’t feel our talents are valuable enough.
I sure have felt that.
I have worked in the corporate world for 3 years and I never felt like my work was amounting to anything, I felt like a failure and felt I wasn’t qualified enough to do what I was doing. Though, it was much after I left did I realize that in fact I was qualified to do the work and I am intelligent – just that my form of intelligence doesn’t match that of some my colleague.
Now you might ask Lakshmi, so what is your combination of intelligence? Starting from strongest to weakest – Mine is:
- Body Kinesthetic
- Musical Rhythmic
- Visual Spatial
- Intrapersonal/Interpersonal – I give them equal importance
- Verbal Linguistic
- Logical Mathematical
Since my mathematical capabilities aren’t the best I try to use the first three forms of intelligence to grasp and understand the material.
So please don’t consider yourself a failure and give up so soon. Some of the most successful people in this world took time to get where they are and they used their strengths to support their weakness.
Let’s do a little activity:
Take out a piece of paper and draw a line in between. On one side write down your strengths and on the other your weaknesses. Done? now read them once again and ask yourself how can my strengths support my weaknesses?
Write it down and keep going back to it every time you feel like you aren’t good enough or when you feel success isn’t your cup of tea.
Success is everyone’s cup of tea.
One of the main reasons I started this podcast was because more than anyone else I needed to hear these words I write. We’re our greatest teachers and trust me the answers are usually there within us. We just need to learn to get out of our own way – be still and listen.
Another very important part to success is having your family, friends, and people who wish only good for you, in your circle. I have days where I am scared and if I can actually achieve the goals I’ve set for myself. I feel like a failure and afraid I won’t be able to handle everything.
The first thing to do is, cut us some slack. You are a human being; you’re bound to feel like what you are doing isn’t amounting to anything and that’s ok.
This podcast for example, when I sit to plan and write this podcast, I usually have that fear that this week won’t be good enough, but I still power through. And the feedback I get from all of you is what keeps me going.
Secondly, make peace with your weaknesses. I’m not the best at juggling multiple things – I had to make peace with this fact. Make peace with the fact that you aren’t like everyone else. There are certain things others will be able to do which you won’t and vice versa. Respect that- make peace with it and see how you can use it to the best of your abilities.
When you feel down don’t sulk and stay there. Pick up the phone and talk or message a friend. Friends are awesome – they pick you up when you need it the most and are there sometimes there to smack some sense into you. When we’re in the eye of the storm, it makes it difficult for us to see and sort things out. By sharing it with someone, they can shed light or give you a different perspective to the entire situation.
Like I said in an earlier podcast having a power circle is so important. They lift you up when you need it the most; they help power you through some not so great days. I am so lucky to have a wonderful power circle. In fact another reason this podcast came into existence because of one of my power circle darlings. Her honest conversation with me was one of the triggers to start The Curvy Girl Podcast.
Please don’t consider yourself a failure just because you weren’t able to achieve something the first, second or tenth time around. Keep trying. Your failures teach you- every thing you learn, in the long run amounts to something. Your failure and lessons are the foundations to your success.
Besides success isn’t just when you earn and live in a big lavish house, it’s also the number of lives you impact in a good way. And I believe if you can help just one person, you have created a chain that will impact many other lives, so Kudos to you.
Your success should be on your own terms – what makes you happy – you define success. Not something the world designs for you.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s podcast and realize how amazing you are. In next week’s podcast, I talk about setting your vision, working with your strengths & weaknesses.
If you have any questions, leave them in the comments section below.
And I’ll catch you guys next week.
It’s episode 4 and this week I talk about the gift of our flaws. Yes you heard it right. Our flaws are a gift. It’s weird right? You must be scratching your head and wondering how is this possible. What’s wrong with you Lakshmi, but trust me they really are.
Click play to listen to this week’s podcast
In this weeks podcast we talk about our flaws and how important they actually are . So let’s head over.
I know most of us run from our flaws. We prefer hiding them rather than showing them off to the world. We are scared of our flaws. The most common thought’s being, “People will think I’m weird, no one will want to be friends with me,” and the list goes on.
I’m no different. I don’t like accepting my flaws. I try covering it up as much as I can. Embarrassed by it at times.
Last week I went and saw a movie, “A wrinkle In Time.” A really nice movie , that touched on the topic of accepting our flaws. The more you try to run away from them, the more you try to cover it up, the more you’re pushing in the real you. In the movie the lead actress feels she doesn’t fit in at school, people call her weird and occasionally so she gets bullied. But through the course of them movie something changes in her. Reese Witherspoon (I love her) is one of the astral travelers and her gift to Meg was the “Gift of her flaws.” So when I first heard that, I thought, “seriously our flaws can be a gift?” And I bet Meg in the movie at that time thought the same thing.
In a lot of situations it is what we perceive as our flaws, actually save us at the end of the day. In the movie, Meg’s greatest flaw was, she didn’t trust anything easily, or anyone easily. She would question every single thing. Deep inside this caused her to feel like an outcast, outsider. The more she felt it, the more she emitted that energy out to the world.
The world picks up on your energy.
People pick up on your vibes. When we lie people know, when we are truthful people know, People can surely sense the kind of person you are – more of this in another podcast.
So What are my flaws:
- So Like meg I don’t take people at face value
- I ask a lot of questions
- I take a hell load of time to open up to people
I use to think these were bad things, I tried to bury them. I tried to become someone I wasn’t. Let’s get honest. I am an introvert – and I can’t get chatty with everyone I meet, am very selective on who I am open up to. However, lately I realized this is a gift. Our flaws are our gifts, please remember that. If you sit down and really think about it, our flaws work perfectly with the situations and circumstances that come into our life. They save us from a lot of pain in the long run.
I don’t trust easily – but I do believe in vibes. The vibes that each on of us emit out. A lot of times people say something, but actually feel something else altogether. I pick up on those unsaid things – again this would confuse me earlier. I would think something’s wrong with me. A few months back, I realized that this gift yet again saved me from a lot of pain. So be aware and attuned to what people say.
I am the queen of procrastination. There are times when I literally need to push myself to get something done. I just think procrastination has such a bad rep. Well in some ways it really doesn’t help you, but sometimes it’s just what you need. Procrastination is your body’s way of asking you to slow down and re-evaluate.
So I procrastinated to study, looking at my books I was just getting pissed off and was trying my best to postpone it. The main reason being, I was like anyways even if I do study, I doubt I’m going to retain anything. I’m going to bum the exams anyways.
I kept look at the books and wondered rather than giving up, what different can I do? How can I make this more understandable and interesting? I took this time to re-evaluate and jumped right back in with a game plan this time around – Make things more concise and interactive. And this is actually helping me now.
So why not take the opportunity to ask yourself , “Why are you procrastinating right now?” You usually have the answer. Then work on coming up with a new game plan.
When it comes to body image, what we see as our flaw is actually what makes us unique. Imagine everyone having the exact same body shape. How would that work out?
I was born with a very tiny cleft lip. As a kid, that use to bother me and I noticed the first thing people would ask me was, what happened, omg did you fall and hurt yourself, no no I can see a bump on your lips and that would annoy me even more. I was scared to talk to people because I felt I was being judged. But the minute I decided to accept that yes it is a part of me and there is actually nothing I can do to change it, things changed. People wouldn’t really ask me, now it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence and even when they do, I don’t care anymore. Why? Because I have, accepted that part of me. The minute you accept your flaws, you gain confidence.
What we deem as flaws is actually a gift, what we deem us unpleasant is the universe actually pushing you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes things may not work out the way you wanted it to, but they always work out the way that is best for you.
These flaws are there to push us out of our safety bubble and at the same time to protect us. So rather than belittling them, why not give them credit for where you are in life.
Embrace who you are, everything else falls into place.
I hope you guys enjoyed this week’s podcast. If you have any questions leave them in the comments section below.
I’ll catch you guys next week. Bye.
Lots of love ❤
Yaaaay! It’s Episode 3.
Have you ever felt the need to constantly compare yourself to someone else? Wondering if you had what they have, then maybe things would work out better for you.
Well I’m here to remind you that comparison doesn’t get you too far. It definitely delays in turning our dreams to reality.
Click play to listen to this week’s podcast
Are you also stuck in the Comparison Trap ?
I call comparison Perfectionisms twin and procrastinations younger sibling. Why, you ask ? Listen on.
How often do we fall into this trap of comparing ourselves to others.
It’s so easy for our mind to switch, to discredit all the hard work we put into ourselves and focus on someone else.
We don’t spare anyone.
And what’s the first thing we usually tend to compare? Our looks.
If someone loses more weight than us, we compare and belittle yourself! We curse yourself for not working out enough. If maybe instead of working out for 1 hr I should have worked out for 2 hrs , or I’m not on the right diet, I need to change my diet again.
When someone seems to be living the dream, we compare. I wish it would come that easy to me, we say.
I’ve done all of this.
We all have the image of how we want ourselves to be, how we want people to see us and when we see someone else reflecting that back to us, we begin to compare. We flip out. I know I do.
So let me be real,
I’ve compared my body to someone who I’ve seen down the street . I’ve compared my body to a friend of mine – it does crop up occasionally. Wow she is beautiful and so put together. That dress looks so nice on her, how does she do it?
I look at women holding senior positions and wonder, am I smart enough, can I reach their position some day?
Here’s a story:
When I was working, this was about 2 years ago. A colleague of mine, absolutely perfect, she looked gorgeous. And every time I would see her, my brain would automatically switch to comparing myself to her. I would always wonder how does she do it so well, how does she know everything? How is she so perfect?
So I sat down one day and really thought about it. And I realized that you know she must have put in a lot of effort into the work she’s doing for her to actually know it now, for her to actually master it. And how does she look like that? Well that’s how god made her, that’s how her body is. There is nothing I can do to change that or she.
So I decided to sit down sat down and journal and it’s through journaling did I realize that I don’t need to be like anyone else, none of us do. Again going back to episode 1 there is no such thing as perfect. We all make mistakes; it’s how we learn. I mean come on, if we all ended up being the same what’s the fun.
My body is fine, yes it takes longer than others for me to lose weight, ok I will never be a size 4 in my life, and I’m honestly fine with that. That doesn’t mean I don’t look good.
It’s so easy for our mind to trick us and say we aren’t good enough; it’s the easiest to start comparing ourselves to someone else. But let me remind you, by doing so you’re doing a huge dis-service to yourself. Comparison doesn’t get you too far; It’s perfectionisms twin and procrastinations younger sibling.
It helps you delay the action that you need to take in order to achieve that dream of yours. Be it wanting to become the next CEO/CFO/MD/Teacher/model. And it delays your of achieving that size that you wanted or those few pounds or kgs you wanted to lose.
So here are two simple steps we can all follow when we feel we are going down that comparison path:
- I’m an Individual; unique in my own way: Remind yourself this. Every time that, “I’m not good enough” thought creeps up, every time you start comparing yourself to someone else – repeat this. No two people have the same journey, our destination might be same, but the way we get there, is always different.
- All I see is the final product: That person you are comparing yourself to and allowing jealousy and comparison to take over, yup all we see is the final product, all we see is their stage performance. Honestly, unless the person is close to you, you’re never going to see all the hard work and little-little steps they had to take to achieve that. Step back and think about this for a moment- when you achieve that goal which you were striving towards for so long or lose that weight – How much of work did we put in to get to there, a whole lot I believe.
I know it’s tough and I also know, this isn’t something we’ll ever rid ourselves of. But we can always put in that little effort to be a little more conscious of our thoughts and give ourselves more credit for our achievements
Now it’s your turn, let me know where in your life do you tend to compare the most? How can you change that voice? What are some of your achievements? It’s good to celebrate our achievements with everyone. Leave it in the comments below.
I’ll catch you guys next week, Bye !
Lots of Love,
Episode 2 : Children & The Weight Loss Industry An Interview With Vrushali Nadkerni
It’s Episode 2 and I am extremely excited for this weeks podcast. I had the opportunity to interview someone who is very dear to my heart, someone who has had such a huge impact in my life. Her name is Vrushali Nadkerni.
Who is Vrushali Nadkerni?
A multifaceted light worker who believes in saving the world one step at a time. She is first a facilitator and guide for the youth of today, working with various mediums of art education and spiritual growth. She has amassed invaluable experience working with pre-primary children and their teachers for over 25 years. Her ultimate goal is to create a generation of teachers who share her belief of raising future generations who think responsibly; work independently; & are compassionate, kind and caring.
As a trainer for teachers with a specialization in early childhood, she believes in starting with a transformation of their thought process to ensure their purpose of being a teacher is one with passion for learning and teaching – this allows every child to experience and adopt the same passion for learning.
Vrushali created the Talking Wall Project – a concept developed to facilitate learning involving talking and listening skills; story formation; description of senses like touch and feel; numbers and counting; as well as imagination – a concept adopted by many schools and nurseries.
She is a talented superwoman who on her downtime, is a life coach for both children and their parents to help them overcome obstacles in all forms. She also works with various modalities of spirituality and uses these to accompany her life coaching to help families. She advocates green-living, kind being and peace giving.
In todays Interview we talk about:
- A brief history about Vrushali’s childhood
- How to handle a child who is psychologically affected by body shaming?
- Schools role
- Parents & Sensitivity
- BMI Index- Is it really important?
- Importance of connecting to yourself
- The importance of standing by your child
Sit back with a cup of coffee/tea or drink of your choice and listen away. This is a long podcast.
This interview has so many golden nuggets.
I am sure there are a few changes we each need to make. By changing as a society we help raise loving, sensitive and confident children and thats what the world needs today.
Connect to your inner self – develop empathy. No one needs sympathy, it’s empathy & connection that we all require.
We all have a story that has impacted us and lives on in our sub-conscious mind. So today I encourage you to connect to your inner self, dig a little deeper and notice what story have you been carrying around within you that doesn’t serve you anymore. What have you have been portraying onto others? It’s time to re-write the story.
Let me know what were some of your greatest take aways and if you have any questions for Vrushali or myself leave them in the comments section below.
Lot’s of Love ❤
OMG! It’s here, the very first episode. I am so proud of myself today ! I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to be able to bring this podcast to you. To be able to share my thoughts with you.
I hope you guys enjoy this podcast as much as I had fun making it. Keep listening till the end to get a sneak peak into next weeks podcast where I interview a very dear Aunt of mine.
Hey guys, It’s our very first episode and I’m so excited. I kind of have butterflies in my stomach at the moment.
In today’s episode I talk about our greatest obstacle or one of our greatest obstacle – Perfectionism. And while trying to over come this, you learn some of your greatest lessons. Now do we ever completely come out of this tendency? I don’t know.
So what is Perfectionism?
Well according to the online dictionary Perfectionism is the refusal to accept any standard short of perfection – a standard that is faultless.
It’s also closely tied to anxiety and depression.
Perfectionism – what a prick. I’ve been suffering from it for I don’t know how many years and it shows up easily in all areas of my life.
When we look at media outlets and the images portrayed there or when we watch a movie and expect our life to be just like that – please remember most of those images in magazines/online outlets are airbrushed images – I can guarantee you even models don’t look like that in real life. A lot of movies are purely meant for entertainment and are in no way a standard that needs to be used to measure how successful or great we are.
Someone’s physical appearance should never be used to judge the personality or the life of an individual.
I went to watch the movie I feel pretty last night. The movie touches on so many relevant issues that we as men and women face on a day-to-day basis. Trust me, it’s a must watch. One of them being that we always feel the need to “look” perfect in order to be accepted by someone, or to be able to achieve or do a certain task. Trust me it’s a must watch.
What is perfect in this context you ask – Well having that perfect body, maybe a size 2 or 4, being able to fit into those dresses.
Now how far is this from the truth? How many of us actually feel like that when we look at someone ? “Oh they’re beautiful, I just wish I could be like her, maybe then a lot more things would work out for me.” I’ve felt it! Guilty as charged. I’ve looked at someone and just thought to myself, I’m sure she has it easy.
In the past few months I’ve realized that being perfect doesn’t mean you get everything easy – honestly NO ONE IS PERFECT. We all have our quirks and you know what that’s what makes you so LOVABLE.
Your individuality, your crazy imperfections are what people love about you. So why do we constantly try to dumb it down. Just imagine a world where everyone is perfect, where none of us make mistakes, we all have the perfect body, perfect make up, everything perfect to the T. How boring would that be? There would be no flavor, there would be nothing new to discover. We would simply be clones, and living life like robots.
You want to know what makes you beautiful:
Your craziness – Your ability to make someone laugh – that hug that only you can give – those words of encouragement – Your Presence that makes a whole world of a difference in someone’s life. That’s what makes you beautiful – Not perfectionism
Dressing a certain way, wearing a certain dress, necessarily doesn’t make you beautiful. It enhances your beauty- it enhances your personality – but is never a barometer to judge how beautiful you are.
I wish I could go back 10 years and say this to my younger self – I wish I could tell her not to listen to those crazy people who say otherwise – To stop looking at the crap that’s being fed to us on T.V. Turn the damn thing off. To know just how wonderful, loved and accepted she is – that without her things wouldn’t be as wonderful as they are.
Let me be frank, as I was planning this podcast, I wasn’t too sure what to talk about , I felt I wasn’t ready (yup those perfectionist tendencies) , like I didn’t have all the materials I needed. But as a I put pen to paper I realized I was ready, everything I needed was there within me.
That’s the thing guys, when trying to get something out into this world always and always focus on the connection- always be real- share your heart and trust me people will connect more easily with you, people will appreciate you more.
When I look at someone who portrays that they have it all together it makes me nervous as hell. It seems unattainable to me, because it really is. Perfectionism is unattainable.
Please show you’re imperfections, make those mistakes, it’s ok- don’t hide from it and share it with people. I think when we share, we’ll all feel a little less alone.
Don’t you agree?
So here’s an exercise I want us all to do this week:
On a piece of paper write down 5 things you hate about yourself.
Now either burn it or flush down the toilet
Take another piece of paper and write down 5 things you love about yourself, please don’t limit yourself to just the physical appearance. I want you to write down things you love about your personality- what makes you unique, your quirks– what are those qualities that makes you the lovable person you are. Here’s an example: People feel heard when they talk to me.
Now take this piece of paper, stand in front of a mirror and read it out loud. Read it like 4-5 times. Stick it on the mirror and repeat it every single day, till you actually start believing this. And see how your life changes. I believe in the power of writing things down and reading it, it’s definitely worked out in my life.
People love you for your quirkiness, for all that you bring into the relationship. Don’t try dumbing it down, don’t push that side of you into hiding and try to be perfect. If someone expects you do be perfect, trust me you don’t need them in your life.
We all make mistakes, and it’s these mistakes that make us who we are – and recently I’ve realized my mistakes give me an opportunity to get creative and try something new.
So every time you tend to beat yourself up for not letting things happen the way you planned it in your head, just pause. Pick up that phone and call a friend. Share how you’re feeling with them- friends do make things feel better.
And this is what I call a Power Circle
Why a power circle? Well it’s among these groups of friends that you gain your power back. Our power / energy tends to get sucked away from us when we focus too much on being perfect.
The power circle consists of those people who pick you up when you tend to beat yourself down, who knock some sense into you when you really need it.
Oh yes, here’s another thing, make sure the friends you have aren’t those who criticize you constantly. Constructive criticism is good, but never something that constantly brings you down. Keep those in your life, who are supportive, who you can sit down with and just be yourself.
I, for one am lucky to be surrounded by people who hear me out, who support me, who tend to knock sense into me when I really need it and when those perfectionist tendency comes to surface, know just how to remind me that its ok to be human.
You never have to have it all together to create something. You never need to be an “industry perfect size” to feel beautiful, the size you are, is perfect and just what your body needs. Respect that and love that. Move your body to feel energized, to help stimulate your mind, body and soul. Most importantly learn to connect to yourself – to tune out the world and tune inwards.
The world needs you, so stop letting perfection get in the way of the greatness that’s meant to be yours.
In comments below let me know how perfection shows up in your life. Also share some of your quirky habits. What makes you lovable? It’s good to brag sometimes 😉
I hope you guys enjoyed this weeks podcast. Here’s a tiny sneak peak into next weeks podcast. Until then, have a fun filled week ahead, Bye.